dear caty,
that sounds very interesting. how long exactly do you consider a week because i talked to you just the other day. sounds like fun anyways. id love to be a merperson... mermaid. anywho that is very depressing that your cameras er camera didnt come yet. anyways what do you want for your birthday? its next saturday and i have no idea what im going to get you... a unicorn? no too expensive. a pony? hmm that sounds like a good idea. i may get you a pony! ((dont be surprised if you actually get a pony)) um so my entire week has been boring. i havnt seen a friends since friday when i skipped at your house. ive been grounded the whole time. and when i got ungrounded i went to my daddys house where i am away from friends. whatevs. me and my daddy went for a walk on a trail thingy. it was fun. i kept telling him that there were cannibals n there and that they were gonna eat us but he didnt care... we kept walking. luckily we came out alive. we walked about 2 miles? i think.
anyways. i think i made a mistake. im not sure if i should say it on here cuz im not sure who looks at this. but im going to say it anyways. i think i made a mistake going back out with chandler. i feel like a horrible person now for doing all of this but gahh idk. i broke up with him for more then one reason. and i wasnt planning on going back out with him. and then one night we're on the phone and i got caught in his sweet talking trap. but i dont like him how i used to. so i dont know if i should break up with him now before we go all piblic again or wait till later or idk. i just know that im not into him the way i used to be back in october and stuff. helppppp me!


~dana

dear dana,
the last time i spoke to you was right before my internet went out in the horrible rainstorm of '09! it flooded the entire city. you wouldn't know because you were in webster, which is 30 million miles away. we were underwater for weeks, with no contact to the outside world. everybody grew fins and gills and became merpeople! the ghetto people couldn't use their guns underwater and they weren't ghetto or mad anymore. they were graceful and mythical. so i could go wherever i wanted without getting killed! isn't that great?! me and dillon eloped in vegas(which was also encased in water. go figure.) then all the water dried up and some people were flopping around on the ground like a fish out of water(ha!) but not me. i adapted right back to my leggos and put on some pants. why were you in webster, wasting your time and not having fun with the rest of us?
i think i'm insane for writing the stupid book-length letter to dillon. do you think i'm insane? it's a pointless project solely for the purpose of keeping myself busy for 4 months(april to august.) i might not even finish it.
today i got two packages in the mail. missing angel juan by francesca lia block and here's to you, rachel robinson by judy blume. i've never heard of the second one and i probably won't like it. the girl on the cover is ugly and you know how i hate ugly people.
i'm dissappointed that my disposable camera for the girl project hasn't gotten here yet. they said wait two weeks, and it's been two weeks and still no camera! *sad face*
no bible either. hmm, go figure.
that's all there is to update. i'm sorry there isn't anything more interesting.

thank you!

dear caty,
i kinda understand what you're going through. we actually have very similar situations. well, they are very different but have their similarities. i already gave you a bunch of advice tonight on AIM so im not going to give as much in here. you are unhappy now with dillon not caring about seeing you. so i think its time to let him go. you've had him for a while and it was fun but you deserve better. i know you can get through it and if you need a little help im here for you. i know you'll be happy soon enough.
my situation is a little different. i know everybody in the world thinks we shouldnt be together but for some reason we cant seem to stay away from eachother for more then a few weeks. i love him and cant seem to break free of him. i actually did think i was over him a few days ago. but we just spent the last 2 hours talking on the phone and we both really still like eachother. and we're going to go back out veryyy soon. and you made me realize something. i was afraid to tell you at first because i thought your reaction would be the same as everyone else's. "you're doing whatt now?! omg i cant believe this! i thought you guys were done for good!?" but no your response was:
CatyMonster: Dana, do you think i'm stupid?
owowdana: no.
owowdana: lol
CatyMonster: Then why did you think you needed to tell me that? I knew you weren't, and I don't care. I'm done getting into other peoples relationships. You having a boyfriend who treats you badly is your business.
CatyMonster: :]
owowdana: lol ok :]
owowdana: but i actually thank you for not being how im expecting zoe to be "omg why are you that dumbb" blahhh lol
CatyMonster: oh, i'm yelling at you in my head. but i'll tell you what i told soph. i'll stand behind whatever decision you make and won't even tell you "i told you so."
so this made me realize that anyone who has something to say about it, dont. its none of their business anyways. so why should i care what someone else thinks of my relationship? so im not gonna. if im happy with chandler then screw what everybody else thinks.
but i dont know if this goes for you, but tonight i realized who my one true best friend is. no matter how many times we may fight. no matter how many times we may do bad things to eachother. you, caty, will always be my best friend.
CatyMonster: danerzzz, i'm sorry the last time we fought i said you were closed off and uncaring. i hump you.
CatyMonster: you're not uncaring. you're my bestest friend and you're not self-centered. you're helping me lots and you're caring about me and you're awesome and pretty :]
and its comments like these that make me hump you more and more each day :] caty i dont know how i'd survive without you. thankyou for being in my life and being my best friend.


~dana

p.s.im always here for you. even when you think im not :]

dear dana,

i am having boy troubles again. isn't that great? you see, dillon is frustrating. you'd think on a school break when he doesn't have those 8 hours of time that he can't spend with me, he'd make SOME effort to see me. some. no.
none.
he's driving me insane. and most of the advice i've gotten is "talk to him and tell him that he has to see you." i tried, incase you forgot. it didn't work. it never works. it's like, he doesn't even care. or he knows that i won't dump him. the other bit of advice i've gotten is "forget about him. he's just leading you on." well, you try forgetting about him after 7 months and he's, well....him. i don't know what gets him girls, but it definitely works for him. and i love him, of course. that makes it damn hard.
i did like danny's "this is an unusual situation." but of course it is. because a) most guys don't do that. most guys WANT to see you because they're horny motherfuckers and they need someone to makeout with them. oh my god! what if he's gay? and he doesn't want to see me because he's afraid of physical contact because i don't have an elf! oh, sorry. back to read b. b) girls don't condone it. so why do i? if all the insecure, unconfident, need-a-man-to-be-happy girls don't condone it, why do i, the ultaconfident, unintimidatable, happy-without-anyone-else girl condone it? hmm? why do i?

your neurotic friend,
caty

pointless

dear caty,
i love how you always say something about me, but act like your talking to some one else. like "this girl dana is coming over and blahhh" haha you cant just say "you're coming overr!" haha um anyways. we went to a softball game today. wilson vs east. there was this mad cayute asian kid there! his name was jimmy. we had madd fun.
tomorrow i am going to skip school completely and walk to your house with a bunch of other hobos named brittany, brandon, hannah, and khang! i think eric was right... khang doesnt belong in this sentence haha. anywho, we're not gonna talk at all! its gonna be uber tough and i think we're gonna slip a few times >.< oh well!
i wrote an essay about you in english todayy! it was about "a fight with a friend" so i wrote about our most recent one. the worst one of all :] i got an A+ but that might just be because i actually wrote an essay unlike a bunch of people in my class.
i really have nothing else to say because we've been keeping in touch via phone a lot lately! hmm... we made code names for everyone and everything... and for all you viewers... if we have any... if you dont have a code name then we dont love you and you should feel sad.
lalalalala... im bored. hmm... im gonna go get ready for your house tomorrow :]
peace!


~dana

dear dana,
sorry i haven't written you. it's been so long, hasn't it?
i've been laden down with books to read and projects to plan.
firstly, i just finished a book called the nature of jade. it's about a girl with panic disorder who watches the elephant cam in the zoo because it soothes her. one day, she sees a boy in a red jacket with a baby on his back looking at the elephants. sebastian(the boy) is adorable and made me want to run out and find a teenage-single-father to date. but, of course, i love dillon too much to do that. i'd recommend the book though. it was great and the excerpts before every chapter taught me alot about animals.
one of the projects is an alphabet feature on my blog. i'm not sure if i'm going to go through with it because the idea was nice, but the actual planning is boring me. what do you think? does it seem interesting?
another is the girl project, which is a photography group that follows girls ages 13-17 through pictures that they take. i'm participating in it. i didn't try to start it. when you sign up, the girl who runs it sends you a camera and when you get it you document your life with pictures and then send the camera back to them.
the last is a book especially for dillon. i explained this to you, and i'm assuming you knew i meant him even though i wouldn't tell you. but yeah, i'm writing that in addition to the journal i have now but when the journals done, i'm just going to write the one he's getting.
day of silence is on friday. i'm looking forward to it. my bestfriend dana is coming over in the morning and we're going to not talk. not because we don't like eachother. because it's day of silence and we can't talk all day. and then we're going to the day of silence dance/party with jessica at 3:30. it's going to be fun.

-caty

10th grade

dear caty,
today is khangs birthday! but he is in ISS. doesnt that suck!? anywho... i understand what you mean with the whole prom thing. but what are you going to do with the dress now? take it back? keep it till next year and hope it fits? sell it? or whatt? i think you should keep it. it was cheep for a nice dress like that too so its not like you wasted a whole bunch of money.
i want to go to prom next year. i have to get a nice junior to ask me... or senior... but i know more juniors. these are next years juniors that is. not this years. and im so glad eric wont be in high school next year. he said he might be moving in with matt and them in about 1-2 years. which is earlier then was planned which is good! and you'll be in the school with me! the only bad thing we have to deal with is first of all... the people in our grade we dont like. also the ones in the grade lower then us that we dont like... theres tons of those. i think im going to try and focus not on the younger kids next year like i did this year.
im in band right now. bored as a mofo. i was totally gonna say something but i dont remember what i was saying. hmm... whatevs.
heres some chandler gossip that you probably dont care about! he said he doesnt care about anyone except family and he doesnt care what anyone thinks of him. so i told him he was stubborn.... however its spelled. he doesnt think he is but whatever. i have more to tell you that i probably shouldnt say on here. so ill tell you laterr.
ooh! kids that play musical instruments and stuffs have higher test scores then normal kids who dont. i learned that last night. i was thinking maybe thats why im so good at math. it said it helps with math and stuff a lot because of the half notes and quarter notes and all that stuff.
im verry smart!


~dana

a letter concerning absolutely nothing

dear dana,
yesterday i told trevor that i'm not going to go to prom with him. he can take his girlfriend and they can be pda obsessed together there(not that her parents will let her go because she is only an eighth grader.)
but i decided that it wasn't my job to make him happy because he is no longer coming back to me when he comes back from the war. and i don't want him to. because by the time he gets back i will be engaged to dillon, and living in an apartment with my bestfriends and mario(the dog, not the boy.)
it was an easy decision though, and i probably would have called it off eventually anyways. because dillon wasn't happy with it. he didn't trust trevor, and he was worried about me being around trevor after i myself called him a pedophile. and i'd rather make dillon happy than trevor. i'd also rather go to my first prom with dillon than with trevor, because dillon's cuter and i like him better and i can kiss him.
that is all i have to update you with.

-caty

gahh

dear caty,
i understand what you're going through. and im not sure if this will come as a shocker to you or not, but i cant stop thinking about chandler just like you cant stop thinking about dillon. i know i broke up with him and i should hate him and stuff but i dont. yes i am mad at him, but i dont hate him. i didnt break up with him because i didnt like him, i did it because he was lying to me. i do love him and its so hard to stay mad. especially when i have to spend ALL day monday with him for all city practice. gah... ill try my best to ignore him.
anywho. brittany frizzank is coming to my house for a sleeover and we're gonna have tacos! then on saturday im getting my hair layered and going to this two faced bitches house. her name is caty. do you know her? oh... my bad. thats you isnt it? oh well. so we're gonna hang out with our other bestie jessica. we're gonna go have a picnic! sounds fun riiiiiiight? t-t-t-totally dood!
hmm... josiah is veeery interesting. hehe. i think... i should get a boyfriend... to make chandler jealous. maybe brian?... but then again... i think brians kinda a creeper... >.<
whatevs.
its nighty night time.


~dana
P.S.ihy and boys are stupid.

dear dana,
i am having a blah day. it's not very nice. the weather was, though. that was very nice. but today in general wasn't. it didn't like, suck or anything, but nothing made me go "omg! this is awesome." and every day should have something that makes you go "omg! this is awesome."
so for starters, i kind of hate dillon right now. well, not HATE. because i can't hate him, but i'm not happy with him, and i'm pretty sure he's not happy with me. it'll blow over of course, but it's still not fun while it's happening. personally, i blame chandler and dillon's stupid notion that chandler has a bone in his body that deserves loyalty and the "man law" which should only count if you are indeed a man. chandler is not.
but i'm trying not to think about that. instead, i am focusing on the fact that i need my mom to take me shopping because i have decided on the kind of dress i want. and i'm finally going to finish my room(for lack of anything else to keep me busy.) i'm going to finish painting the walls turquoise, and then i'm going to paint the trim orange, and get rid of that big desk, and paint my closet purple, and hang fairy lights, and take that nice mirror that's by the front door and replace the mirror i have with that.....so yeah, that should keep me busy tomorrow. and then i have plans all weekend so i shouldn't have to think about dillon once.
not at all.
....oh, jesus. i'm thinking about him now, aren't i?
epthhhhhhh

-caty