thinking about the future again, are we, caty?

dear dana,
i said to myself as i arrived in amsterdam one hour and twenty seven minutes ago, to a dirty train station where a drunken three-some was going on on the only available bench, "fuck amsterdam. fuck europe. i miss rochester and all it's suckiness!" so i am now on a train on my way back to london, to get on a plane and be on my way back to rochester.
being on a train at two am gives you alot of downtime to think(who needs sleep anyways?)
you probably want to know what i have been thinking about. well, here it is.
the future.
my future thinking starts four years in the future. college. you, me and jessicerr will be living in a loft apartment downtown. it's a 5th floor walkup, and it's a bitch to manuever when we're tired after long days of college classes, but we have great butts as a thank you from the universe. i, of course, never have any privacy there, living with my bestfriends and all, so i have to go to dillon's place to do anything dirty.
you ask, "future you is still with that big-headed jerk?"
yup, future me is of course still with him and his adorable big head.
back to my story, so i have to go to his place to do anything dirty. it has walls, you see. though he lives with micah and boston and their apartment is always dirty and has leftover pizza rotting on the couch and it smells faintly of feet, sweat and axe(oh yes, the boy phase that never ends! axe. gah, how i hate it.) micah and boston(unlike you and dana) respect dillon when he has a girl over(i, of course, am the only girl he ever has over), and leave us alone.
my classes are not as fun, sadly. i'm taking too many business courses and i think i might die. you, on the other hand, love college. you get along with sorority girls awesomely and they're trying to make you pledge(you of course deny because we have our own little sorority in the apartment, which includes "mario" our sexy little puppy.)
speaking of mario. your sexy little real mario is a famous rockstar who is always touring(sad for you) but gave you an engagement ring(yay for you?)
jessica is dating david(ha! i told her it would happen) and loves cosmetology school. you and me love it too cuz we get free makeovers whenever we want.

(this is the letter that will never end)

six years after the scenario above...
i have left you and jessica to live in gettysburg with the ghosties. you, of course, were bridesmaids at my wedding to dillon.
you ask, "future you is still with that big-headed jerk dillon?"
yup, future me is still with that big-headed jerk dillon. oh, b-t-dubbs, i'm 6 months pregnant. i call you and jess(long distance. you're on a tour bus full of stinky boys with the band and jess is in georgia running a beasty salon.) crying about how fat i am every single day. jessica tells me i'm stupid. you laugh at me and say "that's why i'm adopting an asian baby and a black baby."
i'm running a quaint little bookstore. it's adorable and bright. for some reason, every female customer pats my stomach and says "when are you do?"
i reply, "i'm not pregnant, fuckass." and then they run off without paying.
my own books are front and center(is that self-centered?) and everyone finally appreciates how awesome i am(oh wait...you guys already do.)
i'd give you details about my relationship with dillon, but that would gross you out. i'll tell you, though, he doesn't pat my stomach. he knows if he tries, i'll bite his hand off and shove it in the blender. he's always saying "this is scary. i've never been a parent before." it reminds future me of when present me and him were talking about sex and he said "that's scary. i've never done that before."

love,

present caty on a train

p.s. it's a boy!