i think it was easier to call him "my dad" when i didn't have to worry about contact with him. it's stupid to get upset over it. i assumed it would happen sooner or later. but i mean, what right does he have to be in my life? not that i'm getting mad. because i'm not. most people do have fathers in their lives.
but just the other day me and gma were talking about him and how mom hasn't had contact with him. and austin asked if he would call to wish him a happy birthday because it was his 18th, and mom felt bad because she had to say "no, he probably doesn't even know it's your birthday." and then all of a sudden here he is. i mean, a) he suddenly wants contact with us(he found a nice loophole to get through mom, b-t-dubbs.) and b) facebook! really?! he's old and on facebook. why are old people always on facebook?
and ok, i reread the message he sent me. he said "i love you daughter." and i feel stupid even repeating it because it was such a stupid fucking thing for him to say. because it's cheesy, for one. and because he doesn't even know me. he doesn't know that you're my bestfriend. or that i spend the majority of my time writing. or that i'm in love with dillon. or i run like a badass. or i choose watching what i like about you over talking on the phone with my friends.
i mean, it's not possible to love someone if you don't know the basic things about them. it's stupid. that's what it is.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.