Danerbean+Katertot: BFFs

dear dana,
i'm sorry for overreacting about what you did to chandler. i'll explain. dillon dumped me. he told jessica that we had no future together, and then tried to play it off and was like "are we okay as friends?" when (as my facebook stalkers tell me) he's going to date that slutty kristen ayers chick. and how are these connected? because he knew. he knew how much it would kill me. just like you knew how much it would kill chandler. he should have known better, but then again i should have known better too. love makes you do stupid shit and you can't control it and chandler can't control the fact that he gets sucked in everytime you say you want him back only for you to say "oh, i just got caught up in the moment." i don't know if chandler feels the same way about you that i feel about dillon, but if he does, then it would have killed him.
i don't think you understand it. i don't think you understand the heartbreaking feeling because i don't think you've ever cared enough about somebody to feel it. and if you have, well, you're really very good at hiding it. but if you haven't: i'll clue you in on something. right now, i wish i were stupid enough to contemplate suicide to make this feeling stop. does that tell you something?
i'm not sorry for getting mad that you haven't talked to me or jess in three weeks. okay, we haven't made motions to talk to you either, but what got me is that you didn't tell us when you broke up with devin. we used to tell eachother everything, so what happened? is it "out of sight out of mind."? you can only talk to people who you can see 24/7? i don't know what it is. but i'm starting to realize something. you and me are two completely different types of people. i am a non-conformist. i'm not going to worry about if people will talk when i kiss my boyfriend in the hallway. i don't need clothes from american eagle so i can fit in with my stepsister who ignores me half of the time. and i'm judging, yes. but i'm just saying, that's you. not me. and i will never be like that. and i can't always get along with someone who is like that.
i'm sorry. i'm rambling. but whatever. i just thought i'd tell you what's on my mind. okay?