dear caty,
its new years! and im at your houseee. and my birthday is in 25 days! arent you excited for meee? im gonna be sixteen! "dana! hes sixteen!!" lmao fun stuff. anywho im sorry for not responding to your letter for so long but oh wells. how was your christmas? mine was greatt. except i got maddd ugly bags from my gramma. I HATE YOU! anywho... you're a jerkkkkkk :p and you're a horrible bestie cuz you just called me ugly!! meany pants. thank you. lmao anywhoooooooo..... jessica disappeared. you left me down here to go find jessica and steve is being a creeper. hes totally a creeper. lmao i totally didnt just lmao but whatevs. steve came and sat next to me and was all "im gonna read over your shoulder now. can i press a button?" *presses button* hahah but now the two boys are sitting on the couch. yeehh moneyy. hehe anywhooo last night was really fun. the most funest new years so far. even though we fought earlier we got over it cuz we're besties and thats what besties do. and the boys just said "caty fell in too!" idk what they were talking about though. ya know i never pictured you and steve together before, but you two make so much sense together. like it just seems like you two were meant to be. haha "that sounds an awful lot like moaning." - steve. boys are amusing lmao. once again i didnt just lmao. i kinda wanna go looking for you and jess but i dont really feel like getting up. so ill just wait for you to come back down. this is kinda a pointless letter. so yeah im done now lol. byee :]

-dana

dear dana,
it's good that you're standing up to yucky people like khang when they make fun of you!...especially khang. speaking of which, is he dating mac-truck-nose tiffany? cuz that's gross if they're dating.
i wonder why zoe's your bestfriend sometimes. she's such a bitch. and not the same way i'm a bitch. i'm a bitch in the good way that usually i'm a bitch WITH you, not TO you....usually. :D
i'm sorry you've been sad, and confused. just know that I love you, and that's all that matters. right? i think i've been kinda confused too. but i'm giving it some time to pass incase it's like, pms or something lmao. most of my confusion comes from steve, cuz i don't really trust him. he has a history of just being a flirt and liking other girls while he has a girlfriend, and sometimes it makes me feel like i'm dealing with dillon all over again. and as you can probably imagine, i hate that. i know this probably isn't a good reason to get upset, but i haven't seen him since wednesday, and he said he was gonna try to come over last night, but then said his dad wouldn't drive him. then he was gonna walk to sophie's house to hang out with her, but his dad gave him a ride over THERE. it's probably stupid that when he told me that i almost started crying. that's just a move dillon would pull so that he could avoid seeing me, ya know?
but anyway, back to you. lol. i hope you feel better soon, or the feeling of saddd passes. cuz zoe's not worth getting sad over. and neither is chandler. like, at all. >.<
and next weekend, i'm free sunday probably. but friday and saturday, i'm not. me and jess are trying to set up a christmas thing for the three of us on the 23rd, cuz jess doesn't get out of school till then. do you think you'd be free to do that?

-catyyyy

dear caty,
we totally should make "team dana" shirts hahah thatd be so awesome. and im getting sick and tired of people making fun of me. like im done with it. like in lunch today khang was just saying all this shit about me and normally id laugh about it and be like yeah whatever but i got mad. so i just stopped talking. and he was all "danaaa! im sorrrry. danaaa smileee" haha khang loves me :] but yeah he pissed me off. and on the bus zoe and hakiere were talking about me and shit and im like wtf. and hakiere said "something something cuz your voice is annoying." im like well get the hell over it this is my voice i cant change it. and they were just like pissing me off and stuff. and zoe is ALWAYS saying stuff about me. most of the time shes joking but it still hurts.
and i dont understand my life at all. like im always happy but right now im hurting on the inside and im not sure why and i just feel like crying. im not sure if its because of chandler or because of zoe and stuff or if im just stressed about school or something. idk. all i know is i feel like crying and whenever i lay in bed about to go to sleep i feel really sad. and this makes me sound soo depressing and its weird cuz like its just when im alone i guess. like when im with people im all happy and stuff but as soon as im not i get all sad and hurt.
anywho craig or howevs you spelled his name lmao yeah he sounds like a jerk right now. i feel bad for danny. i love him! lol hes so little and adorable. and he totally liked the idea of my dream with the whole light saber fight in vas thing. and yeah i hate when people say stuff like "oh they're too busy shoving their tongue down their gf/bfs throat." its like stfu and thats not all bfs and gfs do.
and yeah i think the pool party in the middle of the winter thing sounds awesome. haha
i think next weekend we should have a sleepover if you arent busyy.

-danaa

dear dana,

wow, zoe is such a bitch. if i were you i really would punch her in the face and get her to try and fight me, cuz she's weaker than a hobo who hasn't eaten in 4 weeks. and you know what dana?! i'm on YOUR team! we'll make shirts with your face and everything that say "team dana." and then make buttons that say "zoe sucks." and i'll turn it into a huge city-wide campaign and show her how it feels. okay? :D

a pool party sounds very fun. that's something i'd actually participate in instead of *blechhhh* manicures and pedicures. >.<

i don't really have much to update on, except that craig(i just realized that HE'S the one you didn't know on tuesday. the weird one.) is being a total asshole. he was complaining about me to sophie about how "steve couldn't play pool cuz he was too busy with his girlfriend's tongue down his esophagus" when while they were playing pool, i was hanging out with danny and barely paying attention to steve at all, let alone making out with him. and then there's this picture that they positioned perfectly while nicole was harrassing danny, to make it look like he was groping her boobs. and craig took it off of sophie's camera and posted it on facebook, tagging a bunch of people so that everyone would see it and pick on danny about it. so that's bothering me alot. and that's todays drama.

-catyyyy

dear caty,
i think i told you everything about chandler yesterday when i saw you. anywho my week doesnt have anything exciting about it... it never does. i just do whatever whenever something comes up. i dont really plan anything. like yesterday i went to see you and then went to zoes house. i didnt plan any of that.
so anyways this morning me and zoe were at the bus stop. and i dont remember what was happening but zoe slapped me in the face... so i was hitting her like in a playful way. and i kicked snow at her. and i ran a few feet away so she couldnt do it back. then her brother was there and i went over to him and said he was my new bestie. so hakiere came and she said he was on her team. im like team wtf?! so anyways then we were on the bus and me and zoe were like trash talking eachother as a joke but then she stopped and hakiere started. and then we went into school and shes telling everyone to be on her team. so now like all of the freshmen and some others are "team zoe" or "team dana" and most of them are team zoe. so zoes making it seem all like "haha people like me better then you!" and shes always like that. she really thinks shes soo much better then me. personally i like myself a lot better then her lol. but yeah so shes like being all serious trying to make people on her "team" so in lunch i was like ok this is lame im done. my team consists of dana and only dana. everyone else is either on zoes team or not on a team. cuz also a bunch of people were all oh im making my own team! like umm you cant make your own team these arent even like teams. and it turned into this huge thing and i think its so stupid. so yeah i guess thats todays "drama"
so my birthday is coming up in about a month and a half. something me and my mom have considered for my party is getting a hotel room for a night and like having a pool hotel party thing. sound fun? i think it would be. but we have to see how much it costs. and im not sure if im going to love my birthday this year. i love being in school on my birthday. like a full day of school with classes. but this year my birthday is the first day of midterms. so we'll be in school for a total of about 2-3 hours. and some peopole wont even be here. i like getting attention and i guess thats why i like having my birthday in school. last year my birthday was soo much fun in school. and i dont think this year will be as good. then again... everything was amazing last year. this year just isnt as good as last year.
hmmm i guess thats all for nowww. if i have any updates ill be sure to let you know. :]
ihy<3

dear danerz,

how are you and chandler gonna be fwb's when you never madeout to begin with? and are you gonna keep that other thing going? either way, i'm very proud of you for not putting up with him being a whiny baby, and for taking control of him. :D

i'm very glad we're friends again cuz it gives me someone to discuss everything with finally! yayyyy. and i love our sleepovers, especially when layne's there trying to have sexy time with you. it makes me giggle furiously.

so, right now it's 7:15 on tuesday. my alarm didn't go off so i woke up too late to catch my bus. i could get a late one right now, but i really would rather miss second period so i'm leaving at nine. you can tell i take school so seriously, right? you'd try missing second period too if you'd met my stupid teacher. she barely even speaks english.

this week i'm kind of busy. which is usually a good thing, but since it's the start of the marking period, if i wear myself out, i'll get sick. (sidenote: my teachers are so right about me running sentences. >.<) it happened last marking period, and the first marking period when i got really really sick and didn't recover fully for weeks. the worst part is that danny's sick, so i have to stay away from him for fear of getting sick from him.

so my week is going to go as follows:

today: come home for once and do my practical crap. like my laundrey, and cleaning my room and whatnot.

tomorrow: spend quality time with steve. (sidenote: i've been thinking alot about it, and i think i might be just a little bit in love with him. which usually sounds bad this soon, but since we have been friends for so long, it makes sense.)

thursday: tutoring sophie in algebra, cuz she failed it last marking period and i have a steady 98.

friday: hanging out with autumn for some time, and then chris correa's birthday party if they ever find a place to host it.

saturday: making those rounds with sophie, to pick up christmas presents from archimage. :] and then iceskating with her and nicole and probably everyone else.

sunday: christmas shopping with my mommy. and going to the asian market, where we are not allowed to punch eachother >.<

so how's your week?

-caterzzz

dear caty,
we're friends!! :] aint it great!? anywho we have a lovely sleepover friday and saturday. we hung out with layne who totally tried to rape me! and we found some songs we wrote a while ago! we totally need to make them into podcasts and put them on here haha. anywho you know all the stuff that went on between me and chandler but you dont know why i am single right now. it all started yesterday. i was telling you how i didnt really wanna go out with him and i didnt know what to do because we had just gotten back together. well, i do love him and i dont want us to stop talking or anything so i texted him asking if he would be mad if i said i wanted to be just friends with benefits. he asked if thats what i wanted to do and i said kinda. and luckily he agreed to it! its not just that i dont want to go out with him, but i dont wanna go out with anybody. i want to be a free spirit who can flirt and like any guy she wants! and i still have chandler there for stuff. so to me this is great! i told him we could probably go bacj out again sometime in the future when i want a boyfriend again. im not exactly sure if hes happy about this but i am. and im gonna try to stay really close with him because i dont want us to like stop being friends and stuff. yeah so thats the chandler story. and i guess thats really all i have to sayy. haha. oh well im going to start growing my pirate ship today when i go home around 6ish. okk peace out homie!! :D

-danerz.

dear caty,
i know we're not friends. and oddly im ok with that. we went our separate ways. i don't know how we got to where we are now but somehow we did. i don't know what happened to the days that past were we would have so much fun playing GTA and making cake in a cup and tuna. those days were fun. but lets face it, we were never great friends anyways. we fought way too much to stay friends forever. we're just two completely different people. i want to get along with you though. like when we slept over at jessicas house... obviously things were awkward at first. but after a while we managed to just get along. i want us to get along so if we're at jessicas or anyone else' for any reason we wont make things awkward for us and everyone else. we don't need to talk ever but can we make it so that if we do then it can be in a nice mature way? that'd be great. anyways the whole purpose of this letter was kinda just to get some closure. because we became friends again and then just like... stopped. so i got confused so this is just closure so we can both know where we stand.

-dana

dear dana,

too much has happened for me to recap everything. i'll do all that i can. my schedule turned out really good. my 3rd period class is the best thing ever: studio in art. the teacher's a beast and i'm looking forward to a full year of it. the sad thing is that breanna(idk if you remember anything about her. but we hate her.) is back. we saw her yesterday and me and sophie just stare at eachother and i'm like "sara, look behind you." and she grabs my hand and we run away, towards marissa and krista.

okay, i'll list everyone i've befriended/rebefriended/or just hung out with in the past 2 days: sophie, sara, steve, jeff, josh, danny, shamell, zoe, jared, krista, marissa, tiara(idk if i spelled it right), francisco, david gibson, xavier, sterling, jake aka the most adorable boy on the planet.

yesterday, we went to cafe vas(me, sophie, steve, danny and david) and david whipped sophie's ass at chess while him and steve gossipped about me and danny. today, me and shamell both went to sophie and sterling's house. he kissed me on the cheek and i couldn't bring myself to talk to him because i have to talk to one of them before tomorrow night.

because tomorrow is a tramp movie night+ jessica. we're watching a haunting in connecticut. but danny doesn't know i like shamell. and shamell doesn't know i'm still with danny. because shamell thinks we're working towards a relationship and i don't know which one to say no to, so i just wanna give up and marry jake now!

-caty.

dear dana,
i am entirely hopeless when it comes to boys. i think eli should be enlisted to make my decisions for me. because now i have to crush a poor 13 year old boys hope that he has a chance with me, when i should have done it yesterday.
but yesterday....was probably the craziest day i've ever had. just think: 15 teenagers+cobbs hill+truth or dare. truth or dare then turned into the nervous game as we went from cobbs hill to sophie's house. and then as people trickled away, it turned into spin the bottle when it was just the last few people, the ones who are all good friends anyway so it didn't matter.
but this resulted in: me kissing 5 people, danny backing it up on a pillar, josh taking off his clothes and running around the backyard, and a jogging lady watching alfred(i think, i can't remember who it was) hump a pillar.
it was one of those truly epic days that barely ever comes around. and after the events that followed the DAY, (aka me having to talk to danny, and eli yelling at me "YOU SAW SHAMELL IN HIS UNDERWEAR?!...was he big?" and discussing what it was like kissing multiple people with sophie) today my head is spinning like you have no idea.
how was your weekend?

-caty

p.s. i don't think you know who josh is, but he goes to east and he's this tank-ish puerto rican kid, and he is adorable.
p.p.s. you don't know who alfred is either. neither did i until yesterday when i met him and gave him a hickey. which became "this is a nice way to get to know eachother."
p.p.p.s. incase you are wondering who i kissed: danny, steve, sophie, sara, shamell.

dear caty,
this family and mine back at home is a bit different. this one gets along for the most part. kelly and my dad or kelly and lisa argue sometimes but the mother and father get along like always. at my house nobody gets along at all! i get along with nobody. eric gets along with nobody. oh joy gets along with nobody. its just a hate hate hate hate situation.
school school school. i am so not excited to be out of uniforms. i am but im not. im not because this way people can make fun of what you wear if you dont wear the right stuff. im thinking ill look better in my clothes then a uniform but still. and yeah im trying to not think about school and just go places and stay up as late as possible and do stuff. for me its just that 9th grade was sooo perfect! i know thats hard to believe cuz of all the drama i had but it was amazing and i wouldnt have had it any other way! and theres no way that 10th grade will be as good as 9th. so im worried.
my "crew" of the summer basically consists of me, mel, eric, and will. not the best crew ever. they are fun sometimes. but comon now eric!? so if im not with them its just me and zoe. just the two of us. and i like that. i like when theres just 2 people more then anything! when its just you and me we get a long great! if its 3 or 4 of us someone always feels a bit left out.
well thats all for now i guesss. im gonna go watch hannah montana now. b-t-dubbs my legs are maddd smooth!

dear dana,

sounds like you've been busy too. but you have a mom(susan) a dad (oh joy) and a sister (eric....oh, torched.) at home too. i'm trying to spend tonight adjusting to living back at my mom's house. but i have no bed, no pillows and it smells like cat and sweat upstairs so it's not a huge success really.

i'm soooo not ready for school either. everyone i know is trying to keep themselves booked and cram as much as they can into the last few days of the summer. sunday there's this hacky sack thing at cobbs hill and tuesday i think everyone's going to javas. i'm trying not to think about school at all except for what i'm wearing. speaking of which, you're finally out of uniforms! are you atleast excited about that if not the whole "school" thing?

and i agree we shouldn't get jealous of everyone elses friends. cuz we've all got our crews and our other besties, but we're still a trio. i'm just now starting to trust the tramps, besides sophie and steve who know everything about me. last night was the first time i opened up to any of them, because i told danny about me and sophie going to a party when i was in 8th grade, and i told shamell straightforward that i like him.

you're right that danny's too young for me and shamell would be better. but shamell's 18 and impossible for me to figure out, so i think i might just call it off with danny and not pursue anything with shamell and wait for someone better than either of them to come and sweep me off my feet. ugh, boys >.<

-catyyy

dear caty,
sounds like you've been busy. i was thinking about getting jealous since we're friends again and you are like always with the "tramps" but then i was like wait, caty has her east friends, i have my wilson friends, and jess has her NS friends. and we can all still be besties and stuff. we just have our other little groups too. ok so it all worked out.
your dilema with danny sounds... idk, interesting i guess? well trust me on one thing... younger boys are not that great. so i think its better to go with shamell. haha you guys could like have a secret relationship! not have anyone know except you two. and some of your close friends of course, like me!
i've been at my daddys house for the past week. i like it here better then at home, shocker right? well jess is off in rhode island for college so its just kelly in the house. its nice. i have a mom, dad, and sister. erics not here b-t-dubbs. so basically lia wanted me and kelly to bond so she was all "give eachother m,akeovers or something!" so we did that the first night. it was a little awkward but we got past that. we've stayed up till 2am watching movies every night.
wednesday i went home because lauren was coming over so i thought i should be there to see her and stuff. i was wrong. she ignores me for eric first of all and second thursday morning she and eric left at like 8:30am to go to ali's house. ali is one of erics friends! and lauren went too. so i was like fuck it and i slept over at mel's house. then when they got home i found out they got on my facebook from laurens phone and put as my status "at mels house giving her a hickey." and stuff and like lauren was laughing from it im like wtf?! thats not fucking funny. and so laurens bday party is next friday and i so dont want to go. first of all erics gonna get like everyones attention and second i wont know anyone else there so whats the point. so im gonna try to not go.
anyways i came back to my daddys house thursday and the whole little family played monopoly. it was soo much fun. my dad was like ruling and im like fuck youu! so i had a lot of money so i put houses on all my properties and i won :] and then me and kelly watched a movie haha. and today (friday) me, my dad, and kelly went to stony brook. we walked in the creek and got face to face with 3 water falls. and we got soaked. so then we came home after being in freezng water for like 4 hours and we had pizza and took showers and were gonna play some game and then watch the hannah montana movie! im going back home sunday night. i dont want to. i kinda just wanna live here. school starts wednesday and im soo not ready for that. >.<
anywho thats my life in the past week... kinda. :] so you should take the bus to my house after school one of these days! itll be funn. since im not allowed at your house >.<
kaybyee :] <3
ihyyy!

dear dana,
i shall recap the last 3 days for you now. on tuesday i slept over at sophie's house. i tried to take a bus there but the bus wouldn't come so gpa ended up driving me. we went to wilson farms, bought bottled water, junior mints, starbursts and twisted cheetos. we ate all of it on the church steps between the two of us and then that night we watched garden state and it was beautiful. you should watch it if you haven't before.
on wednesday, we were supposed to have a tramp day. but shamell couldn't come and jeff was off playing dodgeball. so it was just me, sophie, sterling, danny and steve. we have about 3 billion pictures from it.
yesterday[thursday] we had ALL of the tramps over. jeff showed us all a new game. you spin around until you're really dizzy and then jump up on the trampoline and try to jump. it all worked out fine, until i tried once and slammed my hip on the frame of the trampoline and fell back down into the grass with my head spinning and started screaming. i won't lie, it was funny as hell. we played truth or dare and i made steve show sterling his penis. and then sophie dared me and danny to make out for one minute. her older brother filmed it from upstairs and started laughing at us. but, the bad thing was after i kissed him i realized this: a) i felt nothing. and b) i kissed the wrong boy. so there's a fun little dillema that i shall continue in a second. but anyways, mr. j brought out apricots and was offering them to everyone. and shamell, sterling and jeff were huddled together across the yard from him watching a video and he goes "if any of you want one just turn around and i'll throw it in your mouth." so jeff turns, he throws it and from 15 feet away....jeff caught an apricot in his mouth. it was the most epic amazing thing ever.
okay, now for the dillema. you see, i like danny. and danny likes me and everyone knows it. but i also like shamell. and nobody knows that. but me and shamell have been arguing nonstop about stuff and last night i told him "look, i'm sorry for being so persistent but the thing is...i like you. and i have a habit of falling for the wrong people so i'm just trying to figure you out." and he told me he liked me too. which complicates things further. oh, and danny told steve and sophie that he's planning on asking me out soon. so i have to break the news to him before he asks me out. so yeah....that's what's happened the last few days. how are you?

-caty

dear caty,
ok. i have to tell you something. im going to see a movie with your brother tonight. i dont like him like that. ive been thinking about if i like him or not for the past few days and by you saying that youll end up like him made me realize that i dont wanna be with someone like that. hes totally not my type. so this will be a one time thing. im sorry if it bothers you.
but i understand more now. hmm... i dont know. maybe we can be friends... but not besties. so we get along. we can hang out. but were not always together and always talking. this way i think we'll fight less and we could still have fun when we're together. sound like a good plan?

dear dana,
it's not that i'm trying to see if i can "squeeze you into my life." it's completely different than that. one way or another, by next september i'm getting the hell out of here. and i don't know if i should keep the relationships i have going.
and i never said you don't understand at all. i just said you don't understand what i'm going through, personally. i have to have a plan. a specific goal to work towards or else i'll end up like my brother, deciding what i want to do on a whim. and dillon ended up being a huge part of that plan. and it's killing me because i've had alot of teenage relationships, and dillon was different for me. so now, it's not worth it for me to date. and overall, this shit just doesn't matter. i just want to get the hell out of rochester as soon as possible. which brings me back to deciding whether or not i want to continue our friendship. because when we're friends, we have fun together. but we fight constantly and that really isn't good for either of us.

dear caty,
caty, you keep saying you think i dont understand. i do! i mean i dont have to go through what your going through to understand it fully. ive been hurt before multiple times. i know what it feels like to have your heart crushed. but caty seriously you thought a teenage relationship would last forever? im sorry but they hardly ever do. thats why i dont expect my boyfriends to last forever. but to tell you the truth i thought chandler could be the one for me. im more comfortable around him then any other guy. he knows the most about me. and we understand eachother. but his flaws just tears it all apart. and i know i have flaws too but i just cant be with him if hes constantly annoying me. itd be like my mom and alan. and i dont want to be in a relationship like that. i plan out my future generally. ill add the details in later when i get there. this is my life planned out. graduate high school, go to college, get an apartment, get a pet cat, graduate college, get a career, get married, have at least one child, and have a good life. i dont know if my husbands gonna be black or white or skinny or fat. i dont know if my childs gonna be adopted or not. i dont know what my career is gonna be. i dont know where im gonna live. those things will fall into place as my life goes on. you shouldnt plan your whole life right now when your 15 years old. because then if something goes wrong then you might have to start all over. ok we're two completely different people. i knew that already. i get that. i dont even know what else to say. your doing whatever it is your doing with your life now and we may not be friends. well i dont want to be friends with someone whos thinking in they're head "well im doing this with my life... can i squeeze this person in to be a friend? would they fit with this?" if your doing that then i dont want to be your friend. dont get me wrong, i liked being your friend and all, but i dont know how its gonna work.

dear dana,
i don't know if we're not friends. or if we are. i'm just trying to figure shit out. i mean, i had my entire life planned out. and dillon was 95% of that. so i have 5% of my future left, and that isn't good enough for me. and i can't have people in my way of that.
like i said, you and me are different kinds of people. so you know what i'm going through, yes. but i don't think you really understand what i'm going through, or the toll it's taking on me.
nothing ever should have been about chandler, but i don't like seeing people like that. and i know you care about chandler. so do i. he gets over most stuff quickly. but how often do we see him so upset he's cursing and crying? not often, so obviously it took a toll on him.
so i don't know if we're friends right now. i'll figure it out soon enough. but it might be no, because i'm putting a plan into action soon and i don't want to get people wrapped up into it.

dear caty,
i get it. you think i dont know this stuff but i do. i know it hurts. i know i hurt him. i know you hurt dillon. i think the me and chandler situation is slightly different then the you and dillon one though. hes going to date that other chick. i just dont like chandler. theres a big difference. i know i didnt tell you guys about devin but i didnt think it mattered. i only told like 3 people and that was zoe, chandler, and like mel. ok im sorry i didnt tell you.
also i dont wear american eagle to try and fit in with lauren. she got me into it. i like the clothes there. they make me feel prettier and have a higher confidence cuz they look good on me. dont forget i also shop at JC pennys a lot for clothes. and im a little confused now. you have deleted me from facebook and are telling me this stuff... meaning... we arent friends? or what?

dear dana,
i'm sorry for overreacting about what you did to chandler. i'll explain. dillon dumped me. he told jessica that we had no future together, and then tried to play it off and was like "are we okay as friends?" when (as my facebook stalkers tell me) he's going to date that slutty kristen ayers chick. and how are these connected? because he knew. he knew how much it would kill me. just like you knew how much it would kill chandler. he should have known better, but then again i should have known better too. love makes you do stupid shit and you can't control it and chandler can't control the fact that he gets sucked in everytime you say you want him back only for you to say "oh, i just got caught up in the moment." i don't know if chandler feels the same way about you that i feel about dillon, but if he does, then it would have killed him.
i don't think you understand it. i don't think you understand the heartbreaking feeling because i don't think you've ever cared enough about somebody to feel it. and if you have, well, you're really very good at hiding it. but if you haven't: i'll clue you in on something. right now, i wish i were stupid enough to contemplate suicide to make this feeling stop. does that tell you something?
i'm not sorry for getting mad that you haven't talked to me or jess in three weeks. okay, we haven't made motions to talk to you either, but what got me is that you didn't tell us when you broke up with devin. we used to tell eachother everything, so what happened? is it "out of sight out of mind."? you can only talk to people who you can see 24/7? i don't know what it is. but i'm starting to realize something. you and me are two completely different types of people. i am a non-conformist. i'm not going to worry about if people will talk when i kiss my boyfriend in the hallway. i don't need clothes from american eagle so i can fit in with my stepsister who ignores me half of the time. and i'm judging, yes. but i'm just saying, that's you. not me. and i will never be like that. and i can't always get along with someone who is like that.
i'm sorry. i'm rambling. but whatever. i just thought i'd tell you what's on my mind. okay?

dear caty,
i dont wanna know how on earth you know anything from the bible and where it is! but your creative week sounds fun. i wish i could help except ill be in school and i cant come over after because my mommy will be working so i have no ride. but we can talk all week still. and i guess you're leaving this weekend? so i wont be able to see you at all. :[ and next weekend ill be gone! so its like we wont be able to see eachother at all for like 3 more weeks! or something idk. this is depressing! i promise the minute i get a chance to have a sleep over i will! uhmm... i dont really have anything exciting to say so im done now haha.
byeeeee ihyyyysm!!! <3<3<3<3<3

dear dana,
this morning, i wake up and check my phone for the time. when i see there's a new message, i open and see this "hahahaahahaahahahaha. it's 2 o'clock in the morning" from elijah. i love my life sometimes.
i am on a creative mission this week. because if i stay on a creative mission, then i don't have to worry about any dillon related missions.
so, here's my to-do list:
-finish sophie's collage, including glowy stars and glitter
-officially finish a khimmy and maybe start a jimmy, just so you have a whole big family
-finish painting my room...finally....after a billion years of it being half done
-have someone take a new header picture for my blog for me(of my feet, in my boots, on pavement) and then change the name to "& the moon under her feet...." (that's part of a bible verse, b-t-dubbs. revelation 12:1)
-anddddd plan the most beasting trip to the witch burning town ever
but ohmygosh! it's been so long since i saw my bestfriend, dana. like....over a WEEK! and it's gonna be like, 2 WEEKS this upcoming weekend. cuz i'll be in salem, and we won't even be able to see eachother. it's so freakin' depressing.

-caty

dear caty,
i am back from camp. actually ive been back from camp since friday night and you know this because you were with me. anywho... the day after was the 4th of july and i saw fireworks with my daddy and eric and lisa. then the next day i went swimming! so much funn! then monday i started summer school. i know a lot of people there. but only talk to like 2. and i dont know anyone in my class. well i knoe this one kid but ive like never talked to him. so ive been going to summer school for 3 days now! after this week ill only have about 4 and a half more weeks! because in 2 weeks from now i will be in cedar point! so ill miss 3 days of school. yesterday after school i went to syracuse and saw my cousin, aunt, and uncle that i havnt seen in 3 years! my cousin loves me. her name is brianna and she looks up to me so much. and we went on you tube and the first thing she searched was jizz in my pants. and i died laughing! but then she searched mr. happy face and dude it made me giggle! hahaha like ferizzle i laughed. my uncle was all "its so stupid!" im like "haha no its funny!" so yeah. i had my first quiz in school today. it was easy and boring. today i have an orthodontist appointment... maybe my lastt *crosses fingers* and after that im getting a cell phone! yayyy. finally! ok so i think im done nowww. byee :]

-danaaaa(:

dear dana,
i wish you weren't at camp. i really really wish you weren't at camp. i have stuff to share. you're going to hear it all before you see this anyways because i'll be at your camp on friday. but i need to...share? i don't know. and i realized that you're the only person i talk to who will have a whole conversation with me about one small insignificant topic and make that topic last for 5 hours. and that's actually really important, somehow.
but i'll start with dillon. is that where things always start? he broke his nose friday night, for starters. and then his status on facebook is like "surgery in 2 days. i guess i broke my cheek too." and i commented it. and then some girl commented it and was like "oh, guess i'll just have to come over again. lol." why do i never trust him? should i not trust him? i don't knowwwwww.
and i guess i'm going to salem in august. that's in massachusettes. did you know that? i had to google it. yes, seriously. they burned w(b)itches there. which is weird cuz me and my mom were both wiccan at some point. omg!! they're gonna kill us. but that's in august. wait....i already said that.
and uhm....for now, i'm done telling you things.

ihy,
caty.

dear caty,
get the regents credit. but i the worst thing just happened! worse them michael jackson dying! i have to go to summer school! doesnt that fucking suckk? and no i dont HAVE to go but my mom is making me. i passed the earth science class but failed the test so they said they recommend i take it in summer school cuz i didntdont need to regents credit! and i dont think summer school is going to make much of a difference cuz if i didnt understand it when i learned it the first time i wont understand it by learning it in summer school. and it makes me even more mad because one of my goals was to graduate high school never having to go to summer school once! i fail. so my summers officially gonna suck! and its gonna be at like a school ive never been to! with kids i dont kow! and its gonna be horribleee :[
help meeeeee!

dear dana,
did you hear? michael jackson died today. around....6-ish here. (it was 3 in l.a., where he died.) i have a theory. i think that he's going to come back from the dead as a zombie. because think about it. if it was anyone, it'd be him. with all the nose surgeries and getting the pigment taken out of his skin. has anyone else ever even done that? i don't think so. but i think this is the start of the apocolypse. i give it a week before he rises out of his grave or off of the corroner's table. is that weird of me to think? because i always think that ya know, it's not possible for people to become zombies when they die. but he was so...strange, that i wouldn't put it past him. him, marilyn manson and that dude who turned himself into a lizard. guaranteed if anyone starts the zombie revolution it'll be one of them.
and now that i think about it, i sound kind of excited about that, don't i? well, i'm not. i'm terrified of the thought of zombies because with as toxic as earth is, i think that's what's gonna happen when the apocolypse comes. the bible even talks about the dead rising out of their graves. (yes, i realize i'm athiest and therefore shouldn't be putting any stock in what the bible has to offer, but i think that might just be true.) because i don't believe another ice-age will happen. and the world becoming a big pit of fire is too painful for me to assume possible. so zombies it is.
(oh yeah. b-t-dubbs, i've been reading generation dead today. it's about zombies. does that give you any clues as to why i came up with this theory?)

-caty.

dear caty,
its lovely that dilly gave you a hickey. im happy for you lmfao. but i really am happy that you're happy. so tomorrow is my last day of school. i will never go to Wilson Foundation ever again! its so sadd. so im gonna like stand back and take a good look at it tomorrow and then ill have some closure with it! then im coming to your house to have a sleep over! i will be sooo happy and soo sadd. but together we will be extra happy. summer starts! you have dilly! i have devin! and we will just be soo happy. we will be smiling like a crazy hobos!! it will be amazingg :]
i dont really have much to sayy. im leaving on sunday to go to campp :[ but my mommy said she can probably bring you with her on the last day! and you can sit with me and we can talk about whats happened the past week and we can just like hang outt. then ill like sleep over your house for 3 days! haha. we'll have funn. ooh and if you go with my mommy and oh joy you just have to deal with a hour and a half car ride. after that you'll be fine. free food! me! boys! anything! and then the car drive back will be fine cuz ill be there haha. and it'll be late so it'll make it more awesome.
i cant waittttt :] im so excitedddd for everythinggg! and then in september you may be in the same school as me. and we both wont know the building haha. that'll be scary. oh well. :]

p.s. i gotta go potty. :]

dear dana,
i noticed you didn't write me a letter back. that's okay. i know how lazy you are. and how busy you are having sex with nina. nina is gross though. so i thought i'd write you a letter and let you know what's going on in my life.
today i am happy. i went to dillon's house. it was nice. we kissed lots and lots and "watched" good will hunting. it's about math so i told him i hated it and then we were kissing and he said "there's a fight scene coming up." so i wouldn't kiss him and i was like "when's the fight scene? are they gonna fight yet? how bout now?" and then they fought and it suckked.
and now, i have to wear my hair covering the right side of my neck. and i found that out and i started beating him with a pillow. and he was laughing so hard and i told him he was a bad dillon. and he said "you weren't complaining." and i was like "well now i am!"
and his mommy came home a little later. and i like her. she's nice. and she was trying to beat a fly to death but she couldn't catch it. and then apparently barack obama saw a fly and killed it....with his hand! i mean, oh my god. how beastin' is he?
and yeah....i'm happy. that i got to spend time with dillon. it was nice and i was afraid it would be awkward. but it wasn't at all. and that made me happy. it was actually very comfortable, like it wasn't only the 3rd time we had seen eachother. like we spent hours and hours together all the time. that means we'll never be awkward and we can get married and be happy together.

-caty.

dear dana,
i haven't written you a letter in a very long time. so here's a letter. this week, i took my finals. i failed algebra and passed u.s. history. i'm not really concerned about failing. i mean, it's not like my career requires me to use math.
speaking of my career....
i'm writing a story. here's my plot:
a girl from a spy school(named emmaline "emmy", b-t-dubbs.) gets chosen to infiltrate a high class boarding school because the headmaster is in business with the swedish mafia. she tries to stay focused on her mission until she meets max, handsome mysterious max. but when she starts recieving notes threatening to reveal who she really is, she realizes max might not be the good guy she imagined.
ohhh, did i just give away the entire story? sorry. that's what i had written in my notebook. that wouldn't be the synopsis for it ever. i think it gives away too much. not that it matters if you get to see the entire plot before you read it because you can't read. :] jaykay smile.
so, tomorrow i'm going to dillon's. i talked to him today and he was like "we can watch a movie in the basement. it'll be nice." so i told him i wanted to watch twilight and he's like "suuure, then i'll switch it...with harry potter. i have the fifth one." which resulted in an argument about which harry potter was better. 3 or 5. oh, but anyways. he was like "you probably won't even come." and i said, "i'll talk to my mom. and if she can't take me, i'll take the bus." so he said he doesn't want me taking the bus because i'll get raped. but i will if it's my only way over there. because, i was on the phone with chandler like...whenever i was, and he was like "you should just go to his house, grab him and kiss him." and well....i'm not that bold, surprisingly. but i do want to see him and i'll be damned if i don't find a way to do that.

-caterzzz

dear caty,
im not really studying for finals but im getting review time in school. but... monday is my last day for that. but anyways, im like pretty sure ill pass the algebra exam. global (social studies) is the same as what you have. the multiple choice, dbq and essay. i always do bad on the essays but im sure ill pass. english, i always pass. spanish im confident about. i already got a perfect score on my speaking portion. earth science, thats a tuffy. i took the hands on part of it. i think i'll pass the written part. thats the only class im worried about. but even if i fail, i can just take it again next year in 10th grade. or go to summer school for it... but i dont wanna do that. but i think ill pass everything. oh and i can help you with algebra too if you need it. im great at it. but im like 99.9% sure ill be a 10th grader next year.
oh i didnt tell you this but ill be coming to your house after school on tuesday the 16th, friday the 19th, and tuesday the 23rd. i will be sleeping over on the 23rd and we will celebrate summer. we cant celebrate being 10th graders till i get my report card to see if im actually a 10th grader haha.
oh and i dont remember the exact day but i think the 28th im going off to camp! yes im going to miss youu. and ill try to send you a letter. but if not, ill write you one and give it to you when i return! and ill stay at your house from july 4th-july6th :]
it cool that you're putting dillon off a little. i really havnt talked to devin in a while. i kinda miss him. which is weird... since hes not my boyfriend. whateves.
anyways im going to this dinosaur thingy today with my daddy, lisa, and kelly. it will be fun. even if its boring ill have someone to complain about it with haha. i totally just hummed "the 12 days of christmas" lmfaoo! its so not even close to christmas. ohh i started reading the perks of being a wallflower and so far i love it! its very funny and has some stuff in it i didnt think it would but its all good. its stuff we hear about every day! im on part 2. ooooh! and i went shopping yesterday! i got an awesome new bag from american eagle! a cute shirt from american eagle. and $3 sunglasses from wet seal :] and they look awesome on me! and i have a whole cute summer outfit planned out. then me and lauren got yogen fruz ! that cool frozen yogurt stuff at that one mall haha. it was yummeh. and i got a bottle of water with it and its the most adorable bottle of water i've ever seen! hahaha.
ok i think im done nowwww. bye :]

-dana

dear dana,
i haven't talked to you in forever. since like.....yesterday! i've been studying today. i'm kind of freaking out about finals. but i figure, i just have to coast through the math which will be easy if i actually study. and the u.s. history comes in 3 parts: multiple choice questions, dbq essay, thematic essay. i'm gonna bomb the thematic essay but as long as i get every question right and do the dbq well, i can pass that. and then i won't fail and i'll be a tenth grader next year. me and my mommy are going out to breakfast tomorrow morning to practice some algebra crap. it's really boring and pisses me off because, really? when are we ever going to use this shit? neverrrrr. i'll never use any stupid formula's that give me pointless conclusions and don't even give me an answer to a problem. never.
i'm putting dillon on the backburner lately(hmm....does that remind you of what he's always been doing with me?) he's just not that important. which sounds bad when i write it down, but i don't mean i don't care about him. i just have better things to worry about and i can live without him just fine.
ohhhh, and on july 5th, you're sleeping over.
"why?"
good question. you wanna know why?
"yeah. that's why i just said 'why.'"
it's because there's going to be a new episode of hannah montana on and jake ryan's in it and i love him and we love her so we have to watch it.
uhm.....okay, i'm done.

-caty

dear caty,
its not monday anymore. but its still a bootiful day! its amazing that CL is not being so crazy. maybe shes found someone else to love instead of her ex and now shes not sad. anywhoooo. i am in school. i have just finished my final computer assignment for the year. all i have to do now is show up. i dont think i will though. he told me i already have a 110% for a final grade of the year. so im not worried about getting a few more Fs for not being here.
my computer teacher kinda sounds like... idk some movie guy who has a deep voice. but i havnt noticed till now. hehehe he sounds funny! im very sad that school is ending. i only have about 2 more weeks at this school... and then... its gone! well not really but i wont be going here anymore. so on the last day of school, i dont even know if im supposed to be in school cuz 9th graders go home like right after tests and i dont have a test that day. oh well on the last day of school im going to like hug everyone of my little friends that i wont be seeing next year! but... i might have to do that before the last day of school cuz people are going to darien lake that day. also i was gonna have you come with me... but idk if you can. mr parisi is being a butt and said you cant stay in his room. so im not sure. we can still try if you want and if worst comes to worst we'll just leave haha.
i dont like summer that much. god im such a nerd. me and devin will probably hang out a lot in the summer... but hes not going into IB so i wont see him much next year unless we hang out. but im deff. gonna take the foundation bus some mornings just to see my peoples. ill make zoe take it with me. her brother will be on it too! and then i can see all the new 7th graders that are 6th graders nowww.
this is a long letter.
ahh caty im happy! but its so sad that school is endinggg. i dont want it tooooo. :[ what will i do next year? im gonna hate everyone at school. and i really hope you go with me. i dont know anything about the building. it probably wont be as scary as my first day in 7th grade though hahaha now that was scary! i only knew haley. wow anyways. i think ill stop now.
have fun today! whatever you may be doinggg.

dear dana,

it's monday. it's a bootiful monday where jessica's ears are pierced and mine are infected and the flowers are blooming and stephen made a funny and you are a homewrecker.

jaykay. i hump you.

so, okay. apparently, dillon's god-sister thinks i'm creepy. she has never talked to me. and thinks i'm creepy. and then dillon goes "so do i." so i'm like "real nice." and then he said something else and i ignored him. he's infuriating sometimes. it just bugs me.

also, my father has not replied to my message on facebook. maybe he read it and is speechless, like you said. or he hasn't read it. not that i care. cuz i really just wanted to reply saying something.

crazy lady may be taking her meds now. she's much less crazy. and we had bonding female moment in the kitchen today because there was cookie-dough and me and jess started eating some and she's like "i want some." and then we leave and jess is like "i want milk." i'm like "me too." and then we walk into the kitchen and cl's pouring milk.

dear caty,
i understand that your father has added you on facebook. i myself do not know exactly how you are feeling because i have never been through something like that. so i probably wont be a good advice giver on this subject. i do think he can love you even though he doesnt know you because you are his daughter. but i see where you are coming from. he must not have that much love for you if he hasnt been in your life at all.
i am in computer class right now. before i went to spanish i walked past devin and his girlfriend. they split apart and devin came to talk to me. he was all "why are you being weird now?" in a joking way though. i was like "cuz... im nott" hes like "you dont talk to me no more." im like "i talked to you yesterday. and i didnt see you today till now and im talking to you noww." yeah you probably dont care though. anywhooo... also before spanish mr parisi was all "go to class" and i was all "no. i have a substitute therefore im allowed to be late to class" haha he said it was a dana rule. yeahhhh.
but anyways. im ending this letter. good luck with your father. ihy.

-danaaa.

dear dana,

i think it was easier to call him "my dad" when i didn't have to worry about contact with him. it's stupid to get upset over it. i assumed it would happen sooner or later. but i mean, what right does he have to be in my life? not that i'm getting mad. because i'm not. most people do have fathers in their lives.

but just the other day me and gma were talking about him and how mom hasn't had contact with him. and austin asked if he would call to wish him a happy birthday because it was his 18th, and mom felt bad because she had to say "no, he probably doesn't even know it's your birthday." and then all of a sudden here he is. i mean, a) he suddenly wants contact with us(he found a nice loophole to get through mom, b-t-dubbs.) and b) facebook! really?! he's old and on facebook. why are old people always on facebook?

and ok, i reread the message he sent me. he said "i love you daughter." and i feel stupid even repeating it because it was such a stupid fucking thing for him to say. because it's cheesy, for one. and because he doesn't even know me. he doesn't know that you're my bestfriend. or that i spend the majority of my time writing. or that i'm in love with dillon. or i run like a badass. or i choose watching what i like about you over talking on the phone with my friends.

i mean, it's not possible to love someone if you don't know the basic things about them. it's stupid. that's what it is.

dear caty,
i took this awesome bird whistle thing from mr parisi today. you put water in it ((weird i know)) and then blow into it and it like makes bird noises. hahaha. so this weekend im going to your house... well since this has already happened i went to your house. but this is probably gonna say posted on... some day before the weekend. so ill tell it like it hasnt happened yet. im gonna go to gvp with you. we are going to see chandler and hes gonna be a little bitch to us when we give him a present. a domo! then we're gonna have a water balloon fight with the boys and throw cupcakes at people. it will be very fun. me and your brother will both fall and everyone will laugh. i will get mud all over my butt. then i will sleep over and we will go to the mall the next day. we will shop around. get movie tickets to see UP which we wont be able to see the whole thing. then we'll have a fight! then we make up buy me buying us donuts. then my mommy will pick us up and we will give some guys our numbers. tis very fun. then we'll both go home. great weekend! :]
then monday ((tomorrow)) you will come to my last concert at foundation. it shall be sad. then we will go to class wars together on tuesday and wednesday. ooh! i might even get a phone monday! and then thursday i will be gone. im sorry. but friday maybe we can have yet another sleepover! sounds like fun huh? yeah i thought so too. then on the 24th you will come to school with me and everyone will think you're a 9th grader even though... you are... but not at my school. oooh and b-t-dubbs. UP was a suckass movie. nobody should see it. it was ehh.

byeeeeeeee!

dana.

p.s. i dont know where my signature went hahaha. ill fix it eventually.

dear dana,

*laughs histerically* chandler's mommy is such a badass. we should be friends with her! and don't even lie to yourself and say you don't have a good guy. b.l. brandon lopez! the lurve of your life, bryandon. yes, him. you're going on a date with him today. (another one!!!) oh oh. and don't forget about dylan/dylan/dylan. there's so many to choose from! and you're going to marry one. and then, we'll be married to boys with...almost the same name. except when we yell at them they'll both be like "whattt? what did i doooo?!' because their names sound the same. where was i? oh, right. boys who love dana. and remember me telling you about mark, the wegmans helping hand? well, he was cute and i think i should hook you up with him, because...guess what?! he has braces. just like somebody pretty i know! (you.)

also, there are other things for me to tell you where there are no wandering eyes so when you get home from your after-school date with brandon and you call me, i will tell you these things.

dear caty,
it's great that you'r happy again! we all should be. and ya know what? im happy too. i may not have a great guy or anything but i dont need one. i have great friends. and that whole thing with chandler last night, well, i dont think im gonna go be upset bout it. i cant control who he likes. i even like one of his friends. and its not like im his girlfriends anymore so it shouldnt matter. so it wont. i even laughed at him today in band. *flash back* we were in band and chandler asked to call his mom. mr parisi said ok. chandler called his mom then hung up after. i said "mr parisi hes not allowed to use your phone anymore because he didnt say 'i love you'!!" mr parisi said "yeah thats true. call your mom back and tell her you love her." so chandler calls back and is all "i love you mom" and then i guess she asked why and he told her that mr parisi made him and i guess she said "i love him too" ((mr parisi not chandler)) so i laughed. im not sure if he knows i know about this but i dont think it matters. its not my business and apparently nobody wanted me to know anyways. so im gonna be happy. well im in school right now and im about to leave. so byee!

dear dana,
i am happy. happy. happy. happy. do you want to know why?

"not really."
okay, i thought you'd want to know. me and dillon are back together. or... "together." whatever. let's not get technical. i bet you're just dying to know how it happened aren't you?

well, i was on the computer. and i had facebook open and blogger open. so i was reading people's blogs and listening to owl city when my facebook page pings.

dillon: hey

me: hi

ya know, boring stuff.

we talk for a minute.

dillon: it's 11:11 make a wish

me: those wishes never come true

dillon: sometimes they do. you never know.

me: i've been wishing for the same thing for the past 6 months and i still don't have it.

dillon: and that is?

me: you.

*dillon is offline*

*phone rings*

i bet you can't even guess who it was, can you?

"uh duh, i know. it was dillon the douche."

you're right. it was. and over the course of a few hours, we said "i love you" so many times it's insane. we have 19 days of not being together to make up for.
.....i'm happy, danerzzz. oh so happy. because i have him back. :]

dear caty,
i have a really cute purple zebra print shirt! it kinda makes my boobs look big. but then again, what shirt doesnt? luckily my bracelet of confidence has not fallen off yet. i think its on its way though. yesterday i took a day off from school. it was fun. i pampered myself and the house. i cleaned *gasp!* yes, i actually cleaned. then today i went to school and everyone said they missed me! also i befriended chandler yesterday. i think its better this way. i dont have to ignore him when i know hes right there and stuff. it may be a little hard at times if he annoys me but i think i can stay strong and not do anything mean. i had ice cream in school today. a whole ice cream sundae! it was yummy. i ate it with Brittney )(if its spelled with 'ney' its edelman)), Amari, and Rhodesia.
i have 3 boys who are not related to me in my house. but im not excited. they are william, matt and nate. im really bored. this week has been very boring except for wednesday and thursday. those 2 days were fun. as you said about wednesday we went to the mall. but you left out one tiny detail. WE CHASED GEESE! i totally almost wrote cheese... >.< how dumb would i sound hahahah "WE CHASED CHEESE!" haha like the person. o.O creepers. anywho... i have to go to my daddys house sunday and monday which depresses me greatly cuz he might make me go to syracuse to see my grandrents. yes caty, the one with 3 toes.
blahh blahhh blahhh blahhh blahhh. byeee!

Forever ++ Always,
Dana

dear dana,

this weekend i'll be spending time with both of my bestest friends. on saturday, i'm having a picnic with sophie. there will be an hour or half an hour in there that i'll be with her and zoe though. which is okay, though. now that zoe isn't with nasty pedophilic trevor, she's not so horrible. then on sunday, you will be joining us! and then you're sleeping over sunday night because you don't have school on monday. but, i probably will.

"you'll have school?!"

yes, dana. i'll have school. i have to study for finals so i can pass. oh, by the way. i found these sights that show you the entire layout of the tests. would you like help cheating or are you such a genius you know you've got the tests in the bag?

yesterday was wednesday. you and me went to the mall because we're cool like that. i swore i wasn't going to spend any money. i came home with $1.27 or so. yeah, i suck with money.

so, i've had a good week. i've barely thought about dillon at all. i think i've officially stopped the stupid long letter to him....

it sucks. i've managed to block him out of my mind, but anytime he's online, i still wish he'd talk to me. and i know he won't...ever. i know he doesn't care. he's made it very obvious. but i hate it and it sucks.

i think i might tie up some loose ends. i might go see trevor. i know i have some unfinished business there and some things that need to be said and i need to get out there and say it so he can go to iraq and blow shit up and i can forget he was ever in my life-- actually, i can't forget he was ever in my life. i promised him once that i wouldn't. so now i can't. i'm not allowed to and i'm incapable.

anyways.....

dear caty,
i went to the lilac festival. i had fun. i got $2 for rolling down a hill there. good times. it was fun because i wasnt alone. i had kelly with me. shes funny. we'd be walking and she would randomly tap someone on the shoulder and they would look around and stuff. i laughed a lott. we didnt have enough money for all of us to get dindin... so my daddy ate the rest of kelly and lisas food which was plenty. im not a big fan of lilacs. im not a big fan of any flower though.
i think i should be scene haha. i'd be a really cool scene. i dont think i could pull it off though. so i wont try. i cant wait till next year. im kinda nervous because ill be going to school with people i havnt seen in forever and i wont know the building at all! it should be fun though.
my teeth dont hurt as much now. but i think im growing in a molar or something. in the one spot in the back of my mouth it feels like the gum is slowing ripping open so thats my guess. im not sure though.
... caty, something is wrong with me. i'm not PMSing but im being like emotional or something. idk. and its ugh. i dont like chandler. and im like trying to piss him off on purpose. and i cant help it. its like, i dont like him, but i want him to like me. i dont want him to like other people. i dont want him to hug or kiss other people. i dont want him being besties with other people. but i think thats mad selfish of me. so im letting it all happen. im letting you guys be besties. im letting him hang out with us because id feel bad if i made it so he couldnt. even though i so badly wanna say no i dont want him there, just to piss him off. but that would be mean. im not mad at him or anything. and i dont understand this at all. its so confusing. maybe its because i dont like him, but i love him and dont want to picture him with someone else, being happy with someone else. blahh im rambling on about stupid stuff.

im a stupid little girl. i need helppp.

Forever ++ Always,

Dana

Dear Dana,

I'm sad I haven't been to the lilac festival yet.

Actually, wait wait. no i'm not. I really don't care. Everyone thinks it's so cool but all it is is the scent of fried dough(that is delicious though) and kettle corn overpowering the scent of the lilacs. Which smell lovely, by the way. I have a vase of them sitting next to me at the desk. I mean, on the desk. Not that they pulled up a chair and are sitting next to me.

I took a nice picture of the ones in my backyard. They're under my bedroom window so I just stuck my camera out and zoomed in on them. Would you like to see the picture? I don't care. I'm going to show you anyways.

There it is. That's a horrible picture, isn't it? That just sucks. I wish grandpa hadn't chopped them all off the tree/bush. Whatever it is.
Tomorrow, you're coming over! We're going to play outside and blow bubbles and draw with sidewalk chalk. I'm going to draw a whale. It will be pretty and blue. And then I'm going to take a picture of it.
I also think this weekend, we should do another photoshoot for our blog because the pictures on the blog header are old. And my hair is sooo much better right now. It's beasting.
We also might go to this coffee house called Boulder Coffee Co. It looks really pretty in there and it has wifi! Wait...how does that help us? We have no laptops! Nevermind then, I guess.

dear caty,
alrighty thenn. umm i've been told that im very photogenic. i think its true. i absolutely love my braces. but right now they hurt like hell. gah. anywho um i really have no news for youu. you know everythingg. hmm... i wanna change myself. i wanna be one of those artsy peoples. who appreciates art and music and stuff. and i wanna go to those cute little artsy shops and stuffs haha. ill take you to spot coffee sometime and we can get that one drink i had... i dont remember the name of it right now but it was mad gooooooood. ummmmm i like taking pictures! maybe i should be a photographer when i get older. i was gonna say something... then i forgot... then i remembered! and now i forgot again. hmm... anywayss. im prettier then brandon! did you know thatt? its true. and umm... i still dont remember what i was gonna sayyy. lalalalala. ohh i remember again! you and sophie are setting me up on a blind date? hha yuhh. and um yeahh. byes!

~danaaaa

dear dana,

i'm sorry i haven't written you lately. i was working on making my blog prettier and i got an idea for a new story. i even thought of a name for it. it's going to be called "a definite possibility." but i can't tell you what it's about because it's confidential between me and the voices in my head--oh wait, you ARE in my head. yeah, i'm still not gonna tell you right yet. hmm...i think i may change my blog name to that too. because the name i have now is about dillon and...
well, things aren't too good with me and dillon. i mean, they aren't getting worse. well, they are. but they're quietly getting worse. it sucks. but i'm over being sad about it. now i just figure, if he doesn't want to make the effort neither do i. i'm going to go out and find new guys and maybe, someday we'll end up together. but if we don't, i'm not going to worry about it.
this saturday, gma's bff, karen is coming over. i'm going to invite you to sleep over too! and if you do we're gonna play with sidewalk chalk and blow bubbles.
"yay!!! bubbles!"
i know, dana. i know.
but i haven't asked you if you wanna sleep over yet. i forgot to. so, dana....do you wanna sleep over this weekend?
and how have you been in all this time we haven't talked since your last letter to me?

dear caty,
yesterday was the most fun day i've had since monday. it all started off with me going to school. not very fun but whatevs. after school i walked to your house. also not fun. but when i finally got to your house we watched TV and made ourselves pretty. we were wearing matching shirts. yours, an all turquoise ish color tank top. mine, a white and turquoise tube top. then we went and got jessica. she wasnt matching haha. then we went to GVP for a baseball game and met up with brittany, brandon, josh, and cristian. it was a miracle because brittany was being nice... to all of us. so im pretty sure we're all friends now ish. and not too long later james showed up. we all hung out for a few hours, not actually watching the baseball game going on. after a while britt, brandon, josh, and cristian left. so james hung out with me, you and jess. i braided his hair. then he left. then when the game was finally over the stupid kids were gonna get in a fight. so we sat there mocking them and thats when i saw it! the most gorgeous smile in the whole wide world! he shall be my future beau. his name is xavier? hes a junior. hes number 15 on the team. and hes gorgeous. he was smiling at us because we mocked everyone. then he came up to us and asked us to tell numbers 20 and 22 on the SOTA team that they were bitched. i relayed the message to number 14 on the SOTA team, dillon. dillon, the whole entire reason we went to this game. for you of course. me and jessica gave you a few minutes of private time and after 6 months of not seeing eachother, he didnt kiss you. im sorry. hes dillon the douche. what do you expect? so then we walked to the corner and these guys waved at us. they were quite cute. then we went to jessicas house and hung out, had a sword fight, and ate. then we went back to your house, without jessica of course. we were on the computer and the phone with channy for a few house. channy was being stupid. then he fell asleep? we will never know. then we went to sleep and got woken up in the morning and i had to leave :[
but i was supposed to go to my gs house today but im not sure if im gonna because my gpa is in the hospital and you laughed about it. you're such a meannnn person :p
yeahh. idk what else to say now. so byees.


~dana

Dear Dana,
I think it's done. He wouldn't even listen to me when I tried to tell him how unhappy I am. He didn't even care. I tried to explain that I was miserable and why wasn't he trying to fix it. He signed off on me. He just....wouldn't deal with it.
I think that's what's the worst. He doesn't care anymore. When he used to upset me, he tried to make it better. He didn't do what I wanted, but he tried sweet-talking me and didn't want me to cry. Now, he just doesn't care. He just stopped caring. And it's killing me.
I feel horrible. I can barely see through the tears. I can barely breathe because my nose is so stuffed up. You know I had guy issues before? Well, this is different. And now if someone ever asks me if heartbreak is as bad as it sounds, I can say it's worse and know what I'm talking about.
I don't know what to do now. I can't stop crying. I can't stop thinking about it. And thinking about it just makes it hurt worse. Which makes me cry harder, and the more I cry the more I remember why I'm crying which makes it hurt worse. It's like a neverending circle. And I don't know when it will ever end. I just want to go to sleep and not wake up until it doesn't hurt anymore, ya know?

Pathetically yours,
Caty.

EDIT: Dear Dana,
You may ignore the contents of this entire letter.

dear caty,
long time no letter. yes i remember your fifteenth birthday. what a fun time that was. i remember eating cheese cake and ice cream. ooh and tacos! yumm. and watching Jonas and wizards of waverly place. and i remember what happened not long after that. my best friend had her heart crushed into a million pieces. it was a sad time in her life. i tried helping her through it the best i could. but you know, im not that good at giving advice or making people feel better. but i tried. and im hoping she feels better. i've been telling her for a while to just dump him and get it other with. hes a bad guy. and its probably true. but i realized its not that easy when you're in love. like you said, just look at me and chandler. i probably should have dropped him months ago. but no. because i love him. and im not sure when we're officially going to "end". i understand that it is so hard to get over someone. i remember the first time billy broke up with me. the first time ever someone broke up with me. i cried for days. i really do think i loved that boy. but is it really possible to love at the age of 12 when its your first boyfriend? im not sure but it took forever to get over him. i still think about him now every now and then. i think that if dillon isnt right for you, and chandler isnt right for me, then something will happen so that we get separated. this may be yours. nobody said it would be easy. but you'll be fine in a bit. im sure of it. you're probably the strongest person i know. so i know you can get through it.
b-t-dubbs my lips are chapped and they hurt >.< and my shoulder hurts really badd.

ihy!
~dana

Dear Dana,
It's may. I haven't written you a letter yet in may. I'm sorry.
Over the weekend I was caught up in my birthday. I turned fifteen on saturday. My bestie Dana was with me.
And then on monday....well, things went bad. And now I'm sad. (Ohh, I rhymed.) See, things went bad with Dillon. And heaven knows, I'm miserable now. It seems like everytime I talk to him he tries to make it better but all he does is make it worse.
I don't know what to do about it. And I haven't felt up to talking about it, so I haven't asked anyone for advice. That might be because I don't want advice. I just want to go back in time and make it never happen. But I'm not magic and I'm not Hermonie Granger. So I can't. What's done is done and I should probably just get over it and tell him I'm done. But well, you know it's not that simple. Just look at you and Chandler.
So that's it. I just thought I'd update you.

Caty

dear caty,
that sounds very interesting. how long exactly do you consider a week because i talked to you just the other day. sounds like fun anyways. id love to be a merperson... mermaid. anywho that is very depressing that your cameras er camera didnt come yet. anyways what do you want for your birthday? its next saturday and i have no idea what im going to get you... a unicorn? no too expensive. a pony? hmm that sounds like a good idea. i may get you a pony! ((dont be surprised if you actually get a pony)) um so my entire week has been boring. i havnt seen a friends since friday when i skipped at your house. ive been grounded the whole time. and when i got ungrounded i went to my daddys house where i am away from friends. whatevs. me and my daddy went for a walk on a trail thingy. it was fun. i kept telling him that there were cannibals n there and that they were gonna eat us but he didnt care... we kept walking. luckily we came out alive. we walked about 2 miles? i think.
anyways. i think i made a mistake. im not sure if i should say it on here cuz im not sure who looks at this. but im going to say it anyways. i think i made a mistake going back out with chandler. i feel like a horrible person now for doing all of this but gahh idk. i broke up with him for more then one reason. and i wasnt planning on going back out with him. and then one night we're on the phone and i got caught in his sweet talking trap. but i dont like him how i used to. so i dont know if i should break up with him now before we go all piblic again or wait till later or idk. i just know that im not into him the way i used to be back in october and stuff. helppppp me!


~dana

dear dana,
the last time i spoke to you was right before my internet went out in the horrible rainstorm of '09! it flooded the entire city. you wouldn't know because you were in webster, which is 30 million miles away. we were underwater for weeks, with no contact to the outside world. everybody grew fins and gills and became merpeople! the ghetto people couldn't use their guns underwater and they weren't ghetto or mad anymore. they were graceful and mythical. so i could go wherever i wanted without getting killed! isn't that great?! me and dillon eloped in vegas(which was also encased in water. go figure.) then all the water dried up and some people were flopping around on the ground like a fish out of water(ha!) but not me. i adapted right back to my leggos and put on some pants. why were you in webster, wasting your time and not having fun with the rest of us?
i think i'm insane for writing the stupid book-length letter to dillon. do you think i'm insane? it's a pointless project solely for the purpose of keeping myself busy for 4 months(april to august.) i might not even finish it.
today i got two packages in the mail. missing angel juan by francesca lia block and here's to you, rachel robinson by judy blume. i've never heard of the second one and i probably won't like it. the girl on the cover is ugly and you know how i hate ugly people.
i'm dissappointed that my disposable camera for the girl project hasn't gotten here yet. they said wait two weeks, and it's been two weeks and still no camera! *sad face*
no bible either. hmm, go figure.
that's all there is to update. i'm sorry there isn't anything more interesting.

thank you!

dear caty,
i kinda understand what you're going through. we actually have very similar situations. well, they are very different but have their similarities. i already gave you a bunch of advice tonight on AIM so im not going to give as much in here. you are unhappy now with dillon not caring about seeing you. so i think its time to let him go. you've had him for a while and it was fun but you deserve better. i know you can get through it and if you need a little help im here for you. i know you'll be happy soon enough.
my situation is a little different. i know everybody in the world thinks we shouldnt be together but for some reason we cant seem to stay away from eachother for more then a few weeks. i love him and cant seem to break free of him. i actually did think i was over him a few days ago. but we just spent the last 2 hours talking on the phone and we both really still like eachother. and we're going to go back out veryyy soon. and you made me realize something. i was afraid to tell you at first because i thought your reaction would be the same as everyone else's. "you're doing whatt now?! omg i cant believe this! i thought you guys were done for good!?" but no your response was:
CatyMonster: Dana, do you think i'm stupid?
owowdana: no.
owowdana: lol
CatyMonster: Then why did you think you needed to tell me that? I knew you weren't, and I don't care. I'm done getting into other peoples relationships. You having a boyfriend who treats you badly is your business.
CatyMonster: :]
owowdana: lol ok :]
owowdana: but i actually thank you for not being how im expecting zoe to be "omg why are you that dumbb" blahhh lol
CatyMonster: oh, i'm yelling at you in my head. but i'll tell you what i told soph. i'll stand behind whatever decision you make and won't even tell you "i told you so."
so this made me realize that anyone who has something to say about it, dont. its none of their business anyways. so why should i care what someone else thinks of my relationship? so im not gonna. if im happy with chandler then screw what everybody else thinks.
but i dont know if this goes for you, but tonight i realized who my one true best friend is. no matter how many times we may fight. no matter how many times we may do bad things to eachother. you, caty, will always be my best friend.
CatyMonster: danerzzz, i'm sorry the last time we fought i said you were closed off and uncaring. i hump you.
CatyMonster: you're not uncaring. you're my bestest friend and you're not self-centered. you're helping me lots and you're caring about me and you're awesome and pretty :]
and its comments like these that make me hump you more and more each day :] caty i dont know how i'd survive without you. thankyou for being in my life and being my best friend.


~dana

p.s.im always here for you. even when you think im not :]

dear dana,

i am having boy troubles again. isn't that great? you see, dillon is frustrating. you'd think on a school break when he doesn't have those 8 hours of time that he can't spend with me, he'd make SOME effort to see me. some. no.
none.
he's driving me insane. and most of the advice i've gotten is "talk to him and tell him that he has to see you." i tried, incase you forgot. it didn't work. it never works. it's like, he doesn't even care. or he knows that i won't dump him. the other bit of advice i've gotten is "forget about him. he's just leading you on." well, you try forgetting about him after 7 months and he's, well....him. i don't know what gets him girls, but it definitely works for him. and i love him, of course. that makes it damn hard.
i did like danny's "this is an unusual situation." but of course it is. because a) most guys don't do that. most guys WANT to see you because they're horny motherfuckers and they need someone to makeout with them. oh my god! what if he's gay? and he doesn't want to see me because he's afraid of physical contact because i don't have an elf! oh, sorry. back to read b. b) girls don't condone it. so why do i? if all the insecure, unconfident, need-a-man-to-be-happy girls don't condone it, why do i, the ultaconfident, unintimidatable, happy-without-anyone-else girl condone it? hmm? why do i?

your neurotic friend,
caty

pointless

dear caty,
i love how you always say something about me, but act like your talking to some one else. like "this girl dana is coming over and blahhh" haha you cant just say "you're coming overr!" haha um anyways. we went to a softball game today. wilson vs east. there was this mad cayute asian kid there! his name was jimmy. we had madd fun.
tomorrow i am going to skip school completely and walk to your house with a bunch of other hobos named brittany, brandon, hannah, and khang! i think eric was right... khang doesnt belong in this sentence haha. anywho, we're not gonna talk at all! its gonna be uber tough and i think we're gonna slip a few times >.< oh well!
i wrote an essay about you in english todayy! it was about "a fight with a friend" so i wrote about our most recent one. the worst one of all :] i got an A+ but that might just be because i actually wrote an essay unlike a bunch of people in my class.
i really have nothing else to say because we've been keeping in touch via phone a lot lately! hmm... we made code names for everyone and everything... and for all you viewers... if we have any... if you dont have a code name then we dont love you and you should feel sad.
lalalalala... im bored. hmm... im gonna go get ready for your house tomorrow :]
peace!


~dana

dear dana,
sorry i haven't written you. it's been so long, hasn't it?
i've been laden down with books to read and projects to plan.
firstly, i just finished a book called the nature of jade. it's about a girl with panic disorder who watches the elephant cam in the zoo because it soothes her. one day, she sees a boy in a red jacket with a baby on his back looking at the elephants. sebastian(the boy) is adorable and made me want to run out and find a teenage-single-father to date. but, of course, i love dillon too much to do that. i'd recommend the book though. it was great and the excerpts before every chapter taught me alot about animals.
one of the projects is an alphabet feature on my blog. i'm not sure if i'm going to go through with it because the idea was nice, but the actual planning is boring me. what do you think? does it seem interesting?
another is the girl project, which is a photography group that follows girls ages 13-17 through pictures that they take. i'm participating in it. i didn't try to start it. when you sign up, the girl who runs it sends you a camera and when you get it you document your life with pictures and then send the camera back to them.
the last is a book especially for dillon. i explained this to you, and i'm assuming you knew i meant him even though i wouldn't tell you. but yeah, i'm writing that in addition to the journal i have now but when the journals done, i'm just going to write the one he's getting.
day of silence is on friday. i'm looking forward to it. my bestfriend dana is coming over in the morning and we're going to not talk. not because we don't like eachother. because it's day of silence and we can't talk all day. and then we're going to the day of silence dance/party with jessica at 3:30. it's going to be fun.

-caty

10th grade

dear caty,
today is khangs birthday! but he is in ISS. doesnt that suck!? anywho... i understand what you mean with the whole prom thing. but what are you going to do with the dress now? take it back? keep it till next year and hope it fits? sell it? or whatt? i think you should keep it. it was cheep for a nice dress like that too so its not like you wasted a whole bunch of money.
i want to go to prom next year. i have to get a nice junior to ask me... or senior... but i know more juniors. these are next years juniors that is. not this years. and im so glad eric wont be in high school next year. he said he might be moving in with matt and them in about 1-2 years. which is earlier then was planned which is good! and you'll be in the school with me! the only bad thing we have to deal with is first of all... the people in our grade we dont like. also the ones in the grade lower then us that we dont like... theres tons of those. i think im going to try and focus not on the younger kids next year like i did this year.
im in band right now. bored as a mofo. i was totally gonna say something but i dont remember what i was saying. hmm... whatevs.
heres some chandler gossip that you probably dont care about! he said he doesnt care about anyone except family and he doesnt care what anyone thinks of him. so i told him he was stubborn.... however its spelled. he doesnt think he is but whatever. i have more to tell you that i probably shouldnt say on here. so ill tell you laterr.
ooh! kids that play musical instruments and stuffs have higher test scores then normal kids who dont. i learned that last night. i was thinking maybe thats why im so good at math. it said it helps with math and stuff a lot because of the half notes and quarter notes and all that stuff.
im verry smart!


~dana

a letter concerning absolutely nothing

dear dana,
yesterday i told trevor that i'm not going to go to prom with him. he can take his girlfriend and they can be pda obsessed together there(not that her parents will let her go because she is only an eighth grader.)
but i decided that it wasn't my job to make him happy because he is no longer coming back to me when he comes back from the war. and i don't want him to. because by the time he gets back i will be engaged to dillon, and living in an apartment with my bestfriends and mario(the dog, not the boy.)
it was an easy decision though, and i probably would have called it off eventually anyways. because dillon wasn't happy with it. he didn't trust trevor, and he was worried about me being around trevor after i myself called him a pedophile. and i'd rather make dillon happy than trevor. i'd also rather go to my first prom with dillon than with trevor, because dillon's cuter and i like him better and i can kiss him.
that is all i have to update you with.

-caty

gahh

dear caty,
i understand what you're going through. and im not sure if this will come as a shocker to you or not, but i cant stop thinking about chandler just like you cant stop thinking about dillon. i know i broke up with him and i should hate him and stuff but i dont. yes i am mad at him, but i dont hate him. i didnt break up with him because i didnt like him, i did it because he was lying to me. i do love him and its so hard to stay mad. especially when i have to spend ALL day monday with him for all city practice. gah... ill try my best to ignore him.
anywho. brittany frizzank is coming to my house for a sleeover and we're gonna have tacos! then on saturday im getting my hair layered and going to this two faced bitches house. her name is caty. do you know her? oh... my bad. thats you isnt it? oh well. so we're gonna hang out with our other bestie jessica. we're gonna go have a picnic! sounds fun riiiiiiight? t-t-t-totally dood!
hmm... josiah is veeery interesting. hehe. i think... i should get a boyfriend... to make chandler jealous. maybe brian?... but then again... i think brians kinda a creeper... >.<
whatevs.
its nighty night time.


~dana
P.S.ihy and boys are stupid.

dear dana,
i am having a blah day. it's not very nice. the weather was, though. that was very nice. but today in general wasn't. it didn't like, suck or anything, but nothing made me go "omg! this is awesome." and every day should have something that makes you go "omg! this is awesome."
so for starters, i kind of hate dillon right now. well, not HATE. because i can't hate him, but i'm not happy with him, and i'm pretty sure he's not happy with me. it'll blow over of course, but it's still not fun while it's happening. personally, i blame chandler and dillon's stupid notion that chandler has a bone in his body that deserves loyalty and the "man law" which should only count if you are indeed a man. chandler is not.
but i'm trying not to think about that. instead, i am focusing on the fact that i need my mom to take me shopping because i have decided on the kind of dress i want. and i'm finally going to finish my room(for lack of anything else to keep me busy.) i'm going to finish painting the walls turquoise, and then i'm going to paint the trim orange, and get rid of that big desk, and paint my closet purple, and hang fairy lights, and take that nice mirror that's by the front door and replace the mirror i have with that.....so yeah, that should keep me busy tomorrow. and then i have plans all weekend so i shouldn't have to think about dillon once.
not at all.
....oh, jesus. i'm thinking about him now, aren't i?
epthhhhhhh

-caty

90210!

dear caty,
sounds fun to have depressed kids all on you. i should so make steve take me to prom now. but hes probably hung up on heather now like he was with sara. hmm i wonder if he actually would take me to prom though. that'd be really funn! you should ask him hahaha.
yeah you and dillon have been "together" way longer then me and him.
oh and you're having a slumber party? last i checked i was having brittany sleep over and you two could join if you wanted but you cant come to my house cuz you cant breathhhh with the cats. so i dont know what you're talking abouttt.
hehe. i love how chandler is so jealous. im not even going out with this kid! the brian kid not the chandler kid. its foonaynay.
90210 is the bestiest show ever! i love silver! and i love dixon more! i wish i was her so i could sleep with him and his hot black guy ness! hahaha


~dana

a boring letter to you(sorry)

dear dana,
i'm going to ignore the future. the presents better right now.
you're where?! why would you go somewhere so freaking cold, dude? are you mental? scratch that. don't answer that. i already know the answer. it is a big fat huge whale-sized yes!
uhm....i don't have much to update you on. except that despite being the rock for two depressed people right now, i'm unnaturally happy. that's mostly dillon's doing.
though, i wonder sometimes, if he's going to do the same thing to me that he did to you. i don't think he will. (no offence.) but he's been with me alot longer right? and we're doing well. i miss him though.
i'll stop talking about dillon, though.
so, this weekend i'm having a slumber party with a couple of awesome friends. their names are jess, brittany, and...this other girl who isn't as cool. jaykaysmile! she's the coolest. her name is dana and i hump her.

-caty

antarctica!

dear caty,
well we're not exactly sure whats going on in jessicas life cuz she doesnt fill us in on everything happening. so thats why we are only telling about our futures for the time being. anywho im not sure if im going to be living in montana for a very long time. but i am going to be there untill hannah is about 4 years old. but then i want her to go to a ghetto school... and i dont want it to be one i dont know. so she is gonna come back to rochester with me and mario and go to 58 school. her daddy will be done touring by then because people will have gotten tired of him... but not me. oh i could live with him forever and never get tired of him.
anywho im not on my boat anymore... there was no more water to be in. so i am now walking on ice. theres lots of ice. i realize that santa is not going to be at the north pole at this time of year and that is why im not going there. im actually playing with some penguins right now. they are very freindly little animals. and they're really cute! im in antarctica! its very cold here. and there are no people... not even eskimos.
so im kinda lonely. ill probably be on my way back home in a few hours. ill be back and picturing how hannah montanas bedroom is gonna be. it needs to be perfect for her!
yada yada yada...
tomorrow night i will arrive in new york again... still on my boat haha... dont ask how im on a boat from the atlantic to new york. then i will go to NYC and do some amazing shopping! then ill be home. cant wait to see you againnn!!


~dana